Little Baby X's First Firing

Little Baby X Fires a Useless Employee

So, I was talking to baby X a bit this morning while I had my coffee. We were discussing the topic of lazy employees at my companies (usually Millennials). I was telling him about my multi-year struggle to identify and remove these employees from my companies. I gave him a few of my time-tested strategies for identifying these employees, such as looking for those eating avocado toast during working hours or those addicted to Hot Yoga. I told him egregious stories of employees that went home to see their families during critical product pushes, or who were not willing to put in the required 18 hours per day. I told him another story about an employee who recently decided to attend his son’s Saturday morning basketball game instead of putting the final touches on the monetization program. I could see little baby X getting more and more angry as I went on. Anyway, after a while of this little baby X told me he wanted to go to X headquarters right away. So we head down there, and X heads right towards the internal cafe. He sees this Stanford graduate coder guy ordering a Matcha latte and fires him immediately. As a father, I was so proud of him in this moment!